i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
