You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
