Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Dear god my vagina.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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