I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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