Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
