I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
