how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Is it penis luge time yet?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
