I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
