so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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