Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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