just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize