Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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