More tranny stories later!
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
