I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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