When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
