Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
