she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I have tasted many bathrooms
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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