now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
