it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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