I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
