Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
