I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
