i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
