u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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