There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
