Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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