i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
