She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
