Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Liz is crying about burritos again.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
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