is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
