we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
