he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
so let's talk penis.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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