That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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