Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
