How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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