what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
well, you know. whores of a feather.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
