i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
