Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
there was a trapeze. enough said
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
