When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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