I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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