last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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