i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
