Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize