it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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