if you like me you must not know who I am
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
