i just wanna soil my oats bro
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
But we have bathrooms and they dont
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
