why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
