i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
