I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
