So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Randomize
