Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
