It's Friday. Sex?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize