i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
