mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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