he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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