I wish i was in the wii world.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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