True but thats because hes a fetus.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
