your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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