It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
