Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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