I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
