Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
