She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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