I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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