Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
