yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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