Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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