if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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