Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
