It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
