Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize