dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
