so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
