conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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