I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
