I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
